Big Challenging Number

Blood Pressure was 188/100 and pulse was 98 when I was seen by a specialist in Denver after waiting five months. Not taking any medication for the previous 10 days allowed them to see the actual symptoms without any interference. I was glad there was a Crash Cart nearby as my neck, back and shoulders were hurting.

After an hour, my blood pressure had decreased to 172/99 so I was released to schedulemore tests. They were absurdly calm about this blood pressure. I had NEVER had high blood pressure, so I thought this was a really bad thing. It was certainly too high to be “white coat” syndrome, which is what sometimes happen when people go to doctors.

This is not how I want to live in this sixth decade of life. I had walked the neighborhood Open Space twice and one small walk at higher altitude with some nausea. Hills were still challenging for me, and now even weightlifting has been causing a high heart rate. The day before the doctor’s appointment, we had visited Denver Botanical Gardens and Meow Wolf Experience.

“He has blocked my way so I cannot pass; he has shrouded my paths in darkness.” Job 19:8 NIV

I have experienced a cancer diagnosis four times. Each time was easier as i knew what the treatment meant, how it would affect me (well, at least a bit), and what the predicted outcome would be, hopefully.

One Big Heart. One Challenging Heart. One Number of Heartbeats.

This blog has always been titled, “Debi Days.” The scripture on my website is “So teach me to number my days, so that I can present to Thee a heart of wisdom.” Psalms 90:12. Now I am faced with only so many beats, potential debilitating illness and relocation decisions.

Will I have to leave the mountains of Colorado? Will I have a stroke and become a burden? Am I willing to surrender these “days” fully to God? My retirement and hiking days gone forever ? What does my future look like? These questions reach into my soul and shake it.

Join me on this journey of decisions with faith in God, who actually knows the number of hairs on my head. Faith is more trusting than believing. At least for today.

How do you meet health challenges? How do you respond to blocked paths in your life? What happens when you cannot do the things that brought you so much joy?

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One thought on “Big Challenging Number

  1. I love you, Debi! I feel you. Praying for you!!! Well said! You have been resilient. May it be so that the Lord’s resilience will continue to raise you up.

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